A Minimalist - Adventure`s Of A Landlady

July 21, 2015 

Being a landlady for around twenty years gives me a bull crap radar and 99% of the time I can see right through the lies . I am saying there is 1 % that is better than just good at the con game and they can fool me .

Now Roger Dodger thinks he is great at his game of lies but I see right through those lies , especially after dealing with him for a year and a half .

With last weeks lies I gave him an ultimatum " Pay rent in full or move and I am inspecting the house regardless " .

Did I expect all the rent ? Yes , And I never understood why two adults cannot clean a house when they sit on their butts all day , neither working . No you cannot blame the one year old for NOT washing dishes , sweeping , washing clothes or cleaning the bathtub . The baby is only responsible for the toy mess and maybe a drink spill .

Now let me put this so that you`ll see and hear the scene  . 

Roger Dodger knew I was coming and what time , he was not home so I called . But Roger dodger never answers and always calls back ( I know that`s not normal but ? ) . He calls back with " he is out borrowing the money and it at Walmart " ( ?! ) , I say " okay I will be back in a little bit I am going to the store " .

Roger Dodger calls me when I am in check out at the grocery store and I told him " On my way " .

Knowing the sound of my car ( yes I need a new muffler or car :) as I pass taking my sister home , he walks outside and sets up what he wants me to see .

I am two houses up on the opposite side of the street . As I start back down the hill Roger dodger is sitting on the front porch step with one knee up and his elbow propped on it and his face in his hand . 

I smile a little knowing here it comes .

I park in the driveway that is on the right of the front porch with the yard to cross  . 

As I walk up to him I notice that he has his fingers near his eyes or in them . He looks up and says nothing and just looks at me . 

I have the receipt book in one hand and I hold out my other hand asking for money but not saying anything either but trying to keep a  Poker face . Tony just watches  .

Roger Dodger says " You`re going to be mad at me " . I asked "Why? " knowing here comes the bull shit storm .

He pauses , he was getting his courage up , or rather his lines ready for me , acting class !

Roger Dodger hands me money but its only half . I walk up on the porch and I sit down and I listen to the same lie as last week and he was laying out all his bills and what has happened , he even tossed in " And your on my back for rent " .

BUT .....

This time Roger dodger tried to use good old tears on me . Yes , he did ! yes they were the poke myself in the eye tears and I could see right through the bull . Tony not so much .

So when he finished I laid some good old fashion I am in the same boat as you are in complaints . I let him know that I run a business and I am also broke as he is because I am not getting paid either ! His 2 tears had already stopped .

Did it sink in ? Nope because people do not care if you are broke and need what is owed , they only think of themselves .

I ask to inspect the house and he says " I will walk you through since " she " ( no names please ) is at Walmart  " .

For the most part the house was clean this time but I did announce I was going to inspect no matter what he says . 

However ......

The clothing situation was horrible , hoarder style and I let him know . I said " Seriously , you should get trash bags and bag all of it and put them in the garbage can " . He replied as he pointed to a pile of clothing " That is what that pile is because they are mildewed " . I said " That is what happens when you don`t wash clothes " . 

A note to the Gossip queen " There was no meth lab in this house , nor did I detect any abnormal smells of chemicals " .

I walk outside and I give him a receipt for the partial payment and as I look into his eyes I see that look " the I just got my way look " . 

I am not sure if he knows it or not but he is walking on thin ice . I have already told him and he needs to take my words to heart because I am sure he needs me more than I need them in my house .

I do not have any problems with any of the other tenants paying on time .

I reckon its just another day as a landlady .

By Andria Perry